PAN IS CLUNE'S sixth book and his first novel; it is also, as it happens, the first book of his I have read. I had heard his memoir White Out: The Secret Life of Heroin (2013) was good, but I tend to avoid drug memoirs. I probably would not have picked this one up had it not gotten adulatory blurbs from Ben Lerner, Maggie Nelson, Blake Butler, and Tao Lin, all writers I read with great delight. So I did pick it up, and a few pages in was thinking, "Is this as good as I think it is?" By the time I finished, I thought it was a masterpiece.
Our narrator and main character is Nicholas, or Nick, a high schooler in Libertyville, Illinois (a relatively remote suburb of Chicago) in what seems to be the early 1990s (Nick listens to CDs, goes on the internet, and has a Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt). He lives with his divorced father, having proven too much to handle for his mother. Early in the book, he starts having panic attacks. He confides in Sarah, a girl he likes, after they bond over Boston's "More Than a Feeling," and she joins in his search for answers about his attacks. Sarah comes up with the hypothesis that Nicholas is occasionally possessed by the god Pan.
This supposition gives Nick entrée into a group of kids, some a little older, that Sarah knows. Led by college student Ian, the group meets a little outside of town in the Barn--a disused barn repurposed and re-decorated to serve as a place to take drugs and listen to music. Ian takes a particular interest in Nick's case, and the history of that interest gives us our plot.
What did I particularly like here?
One, Clune gets the Midwest as hardly any other recent writer of comparable skill has. David Foster Wallace got the Midwest in The Pale King, I'd say, but I can't think of anyone else who quite conveys that reverberant emptiness, that featurelessness that becomes a feature.
Two, Clune conveys that sense of burgeoning selfhood when one is fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, and riding a surge of self-stuff that has no particular shape at all, but seems able, for a few hours at a time, to take any shape that anyone, friend or foe, suggests. Tell me who I am, the burgeoning selfhood asks the world. And the world has an infinity of answers, any one of which can take us over completely and then abruptly vanish.
Three, the climactic epiphany, which has to do with the flight of a fly and what we might see if we could see time as we do space, feels like a real epiphany.
In the acknowledgements at the book's close, Clune writes: "Dave, T. , S., L.: je n'ai pas oublié." (Actually, in my copy the accent aigu on "oublié" was missing, but I assume it is supposed to be there.) That Clune wants certain folks to know he has not forgotten inclines me to think that the Barn has some kind of analogue in his own background. He would have been in high school circa 1990-93. Maybe someday we will know. But Pan is a masterpiece in any case.
